A BIG-A PIZZA PIE

Well, it's that time of year again. Pink hearts, red roses, chocolate cupids, or maybe even some BLING-BLING. Diamonds are a girls bestfriend! Guys, make note of that if you're not sure what to get your Valentine.

Quick Quiz

What is the most popular Valentine's Day gift, next to roses?

1. Teddy Bears
2. Jewelry
3. A lame homemade tape or CD of love songs
4. Box of chocolates

If 4 was your answer, you would be correct. If 3 was your choice, well, you don't have to admit that in public. Let's face it. Most of us have made a cheesy love song tape at some point in our romantic relationships as a gift. Probably two or three CD's have been burned with a variety of love songs on them. Perhaps a few Barry White tunes or the smooth track of "Love Me Tender" by Elvis Presley. Maybe some modern day songs like "Stick Whichu" by the Pussy Cat Dolls. The CD that you made for your loved one is sure to be sappy and all about love, whatever your taste in music.

Love in a Nut Shell

One song that puts love in perspective for me is "That's Amore", by Dean Martin.

When the moon hits your eye like a big-a pizza pie,

that's amore.

When the world seems to shine like you've had to much wine,

that's amore.

Bells will ring

ting-a-ling-a-ling

ting-a-ling-a-ling

Man, they just don't make songs like that anymore! If you were not afraid of love before hearing this song, chances are you have never been in love. If you have been in love, then you also know the FEAR of it.

Why are we Afraid of Love?

Philiophobia is, as I stated in another blog posting, the FEAR of falling in love or being in love. The problem often significantly impacts the quality of life. Symptoms include:

• shortness of breath
• rapid breathing
• irregular heartbeat
• sweating
• nausea

Everyone with philiophobia may experience one or more of these symptoms. However, most of us in love may have experienced these symptoms whether or not we have this phobia.

Emotionally the FEAR of love begins with the connections we make. When we feel connected to someone we open our hearts, share our feelings and create something greater than ourselves- LOVE. In doing this, we can start to feel a little out of control. Our boundaries have been invaded. We begin to feel very vulnerable. All of the emotions we feel are now being witnessed by somebody else. This is when we begin to feel the FEAR. We don't want to lose ourselves in this thing that is more powerful than us.

Risk in Love

Most people view love as an emotional risk. We take a chance on love, but in reality, love is not a risk at all. The real risk is in not loving at all. After being married to someone for years, you may still feel lonely and distant from them because you don't want to risk being hurt. The real risk here is not having the connection that makes life meaningful. The real risk is being in a relationship without real moments. Someone once told me, "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but rather the moments that take our breath away". Avoiding love would mean resigning ourselves to living in FEAR. Living in FEAR means we can never concentrate on truly giving our best.

So this Valentine's Day put aside your cynical views of love no matter how much you've been hurt by it. Forget about the commercialization of this lovers holiday and let a big-a pizza pie hit you in the eye because THAT"S AMORE!