A CHOCOLATE BOX MAP

As I contemplate on all the fears in my life, my blogs would not be complete without writing about the FEAR of the FUTURE. What is going to happen in the future? Where will I be in the future? What does the future have in store for me?

These are all questions I am examining even more, since deciding to go back to school. In fact, the FUTURE is the major reason I chose to continue my education in university. What I want my future to be depends on what I do right now. I use to ask myself the question “Is this going to matter in five years?” Usually, the answer is no. I try to avoid asking myself these types of questions for two reasons;

1) I really have to cut back on talking to myself because I’m starting to see a white, straight jacket with my name on it.

and…

2) We should only deal with the things that matter today.

THE BEGINNING

When does this fear of the future enter your life? When does it consume you with an overwhelming sense of hopelessness? I believe it is when you start to take a long, hard look around and begin to question not only yourself, but others and the world around you. You begin to ask the questions, “Why am I here? What is my purpose in life?” I began to explore these questions in my early years of high school. What do we NOT explore in high school? It was in those early years I felt the anxiety of what the future had in store for me. Little did I know it was only the beginning.

YET TO BE

So, why do we worry about the future? Why do we fear what is yet to be? FEAR NOT! I HAVE THE ANSWER! Simply put… SECURITY! We want to feel secure. We want the security of knowing all that the future holds. We have to be prepared for what the future holds financially, physically, and emotionally. For instance, financial stress is one of my biggest fears of the future. My financial woes fell upon me for reasons beyond my control. (aka. X-Husband. I’m NOT bitter.) I also face the future with fear because of my health issues. Not knowing with my disease if I’ll be able to work or worse, not even see tomorrow. (Dramatic, I know. I’m a Drama Queen). And finally, I can feel emotionally overwhelmed with trying to work 30 hours a week, finish assignments, and study for midterms. All this said security is not the first emotion that comes to mind when talking about the FUTURE.

FUTURE PREPARATION
Can we be prepared for the future?

“Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what cha gonna get”. If you had that chocolate box map that tells you where the different types of chocolates are, then you would know what you’re gonna get. You know the location of the nutty chocolates, the orange cream chocolates, and the ever so popular, cherry chocolates. However, most of us lose that map after a few days of opening the box. Then I prefer the old fashion method of finding all the good chocolates: Take one bite, not the right one, put it back, take a bite of another, and so on. I digress. The point is we are not supplied with a map to life. We go though this life not knowing our future. It is only when we learn to let go of anticipating the future that we can free up a huge amount of our energy to deal with the here and now. I have conquered this fear through wonderful, supportive friends and a praying mother who encourages me everyday. I realize we are not in control of our future. When all is said and done, there is a power greater than us who holds the key to our future. So relax, have a chocolate and don’t worry about the future.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

"The more you PRAISE and CELEBRATE your LIFE, the more there is in LIFE to CELEBRATE".

~ Oprah Winfrey

CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES, C'MON

Six more sleeps! Five more sleeps! Only four more sleeps! The countdown is on. From the time I can remember, my birthday week was one of the most exciting times in my years of growing up. (Ranking extremely close to Christmas) My grandmother was always the Birthday Bunny, making sure that not only the birthday girl had a surprise, but everyone in the house had a little something too. Each day on the week of my birthday my mom would wrap a small gift and attach a poem with a clue of its contents. Wow! A present everyday for a whole week; No wonder I love my birthday!

Don’t get me wrong. My enthusiasm has diminished since those early years of celebrations. My FEAR of getting older is very present, with or without the Birthday Bunny. Most people dread this day of cake and ice cream gorging. Even with a mountain of gifts on the table, the anguish of adding another digit to our age can send us into a frenzy. Why? What is it about aging that makes our wrinkling skin crawl? Could we be afraid of looking and feeling old because it reminds us of our mortality?

BIRTH-DAY MORTALI-TAY

My FEAR of facing another birthday does not come from the way I look or even the how I feel. Although, there are many days I feel beyond my age. My FEAR comes from the grim reality of losing my grandmother, the original Birthday Bunny. In knowing that my last gift from the Birthday Bunny was a hug and kiss goodbye, I was forced to face my own mortality and that of my loved ones. I see my mom and dad’s birthdays being numbered too, which puts FEAR into my heart. The FEAR of being alone with no one to celebrate these joyous and carefree occasions can be overwhelming. It is strange that I would have this FEAR of birthdays because we are all, in reality, going to die. This FEAR of getting older reminds us all of the fact we are mortal.

BIRTHDAY ATTITUDE

Can our attitude towards aging make a difference? Absolutely! We are truly only as old as we feel. (An old cliché, but so true). A young person in poor health may feel older, while an elderly person in good health can feel young and active. We have one of two choices. We can choose not to celebrate another year of growing older, or overcome our FEAR and embrace the opportunity of making every one of these precious years we’ve been given on earth worthwhile.

I choose to jump into my Birthday Bunny suit with celebration to make others as happy as I have been on these special days that are ours to share. I choose not to lose those happy memories of my grandmother hopping around, getting just as excited about my birthday as I was. FEAR has no room in the days of counting down to my birthday for I know good times are ahead, so let’s CELEBRATE!

JUMP, was the deafening word I heard behind me. JUMP NOW! The voice continued to shout above the loud wail of the small engine plane. I found myself gripping onto the wing of the plane but found myself letting go and doing as the voice commanded me. In that instant I, Jana MacDonald, was skydiving! While I was spinning down 4000 feet towards the earth, my brain was trying to focus on the one hundred different messages it was receiving. From the cow I could hardly see, to the winding river that seemed ever so close. Joy, fear, and then calmness grasped my soul as at last, my long awaited dream was realized. All my hours of training had finally been rewarded. I was confident in my first jump as a skydiver because I did my homework. Everything from investigating the flight school I chose, to informing myself on the risks involved. What would cause a relatively sane person to jump out of a perfectly good airplane? (Nevermind the duct tape holding the navigational instruments together.) This is the question most people ask skydivers when trying to understand such a strange and often coined "CRAZY" sport.

ELIMINATE SKYDIVING FEARS

I will help eliminate the fears of skydiving most people have by examining the risks involved, the safety issues, and finally, what you need to know about skydiving.

RISKS INVOLVED

Let's be honest: It's not bowling. You are, afterall, jumping out of an airplane and hurtling towards the ground at 100 miles per hour, so there is risk involved. However, it's not Russian Roulette either. Skydiving is actually one of the safest so-called "EXTREME" sports out there. According to Dropzone.com, only 35 people die skydiving out of about 2 million parachute jumps every year, in the whole world.

• 92% of these skydiving fatalities were the cause of mistakes in judgment and procedure.
• Other causes of skydiving deaths include ones of heath concerns. Whether it be faiting spells, blackouts or respiratory problems.

Injury is also a factor in the risks of skydiving. A broken arm or leg, sprained foot, or even a bruised ego can all be healed over time. All in all, if you do everything you're supposed to during that exhilarating 60 second drop to the ground, you'll be fine.

SAFETY PRECAUTIONS

After reviewing the risks involved with skydiving, most people want to know what safety precautions are taken to avoid these risks. There are a number of safety issues that skydiving schools address before your first parachute jump.

• All parachute backpacks are designed with a main chute, but a reserve chute can be opened if the main chute is DAMAGED, TWISTED or simply does not open while diving.
• If the reserve chute hasn't been used it must be inspected and repacked every 120 days by a certified parachute rigger.

These, along with the hours of safety training you receive, are just a few of the safety precautions taken before you actually jump out of the plane.

A WEE BIT OF KNOWLEDGE

The BIGGEST factor of why people are afraid of skydiving is knowledge or lack of the sport itself. In gaining information and knowledge about skydiving you become better equipped and more confident in taking your first jump.

You should know the 3 types of skydiving to best suit your level of experience.

• The TANDEM Jump is the most common first-timer's version of skydiving because you are strapped to a certified instructor who controls the jump from exit to landing. You can just enjoy the ride!
• With STATIC LINE skydiving, a cord attached from the plane to your chute pulls it open almost immediately after you jump out. You do have to land yourself, but the instuctors guide you down with a radio that is attached to you.
• In ACCELERATED FREEFALL, you pull your own ripcord and float to the ground solo. This jump is made at much higher altitudes and requires many days of training.

Choosing the most reputable and professional skydiving school will also help to ensure your safety while gaining knowledge and information.

We need not to be afraid of this adventurous activity but remind ourselves that LIFE is a managed-risk affair. Isolating ourselves from everything that could harm us would be quite boring. We could hide under the bed all day or weigh the risks and take a chance. Ultimately, the decision to skydive depends on YOU.

If you can face your worst FEAR and JUMP, just maybe you can accomplish anything. It is not what's in front of you that blocks your way, it is what's inside you that holds you back. CARPE DIEM!

SEIZE THE DAY!

Quote of the Week

"If at first you don't SUCCEED, then SKYDIVING definitely isn't for you."

- Anonymous

A BIG-A PIZZA PIE

Well, it's that time of year again. Pink hearts, red roses, chocolate cupids, or maybe even some BLING-BLING. Diamonds are a girls bestfriend! Guys, make note of that if you're not sure what to get your Valentine.

Quick Quiz

What is the most popular Valentine's Day gift, next to roses?

1. Teddy Bears
2. Jewelry
3. A lame homemade tape or CD of love songs
4. Box of chocolates

If 4 was your answer, you would be correct. If 3 was your choice, well, you don't have to admit that in public. Let's face it. Most of us have made a cheesy love song tape at some point in our romantic relationships as a gift. Probably two or three CD's have been burned with a variety of love songs on them. Perhaps a few Barry White tunes or the smooth track of "Love Me Tender" by Elvis Presley. Maybe some modern day songs like "Stick Whichu" by the Pussy Cat Dolls. The CD that you made for your loved one is sure to be sappy and all about love, whatever your taste in music.

Love in a Nut Shell

One song that puts love in perspective for me is "That's Amore", by Dean Martin.

When the moon hits your eye like a big-a pizza pie,

that's amore.

When the world seems to shine like you've had to much wine,

that's amore.

Bells will ring

ting-a-ling-a-ling

ting-a-ling-a-ling

Man, they just don't make songs like that anymore! If you were not afraid of love before hearing this song, chances are you have never been in love. If you have been in love, then you also know the FEAR of it.

Why are we Afraid of Love?

Philiophobia is, as I stated in another blog posting, the FEAR of falling in love or being in love. The problem often significantly impacts the quality of life. Symptoms include:

• shortness of breath
• rapid breathing
• irregular heartbeat
• sweating
• nausea

Everyone with philiophobia may experience one or more of these symptoms. However, most of us in love may have experienced these symptoms whether or not we have this phobia.

Emotionally the FEAR of love begins with the connections we make. When we feel connected to someone we open our hearts, share our feelings and create something greater than ourselves- LOVE. In doing this, we can start to feel a little out of control. Our boundaries have been invaded. We begin to feel very vulnerable. All of the emotions we feel are now being witnessed by somebody else. This is when we begin to feel the FEAR. We don't want to lose ourselves in this thing that is more powerful than us.

Risk in Love

Most people view love as an emotional risk. We take a chance on love, but in reality, love is not a risk at all. The real risk is in not loving at all. After being married to someone for years, you may still feel lonely and distant from them because you don't want to risk being hurt. The real risk here is not having the connection that makes life meaningful. The real risk is being in a relationship without real moments. Someone once told me, "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but rather the moments that take our breath away". Avoiding love would mean resigning ourselves to living in FEAR. Living in FEAR means we can never concentrate on truly giving our best.

So this Valentine's Day put aside your cynical views of love no matter how much you've been hurt by it. Forget about the commercialization of this lovers holiday and let a big-a pizza pie hit you in the eye because THAT"S AMORE!

Quote of the Week

"To Fear LOVE is to Fear LIFE, and those who Fear LIFE are already three parts DEAD.
- Bertrand Russell, Earl Russell

Question of the Week

How do You become MIGHTY in MASTERING your FEARS?

View of nerve fiber before and after multiple sclerosis damage.

I AM MIGHTY

What does it mean to be MIGHTY?
By definition it means to be LARGE and STRONG, GREAT and POWERFUL.

What is the definition of FEAR?
FEAR is the instinctive emotion aroused by impending or seeming DANGER, PAIN or EVIL.

Can we be MIGHTY to MASTER FEAR?

The answer to this question can be found in the tale of MY BIGGEST FEAR. The story you are about to hear is true. No animals were harmed in the production of this story.

Soon after my fairy tale wedding, (or so I thought at the time), I came face to face with my MONSTER of FEAR. I found myself stumbling and falling numerous times throughout the day. My hands and feet would become numb without cause or reason. And then, the BIG symptom. I went BLIND in my left eye. What was going on? What is happening to my body? This was my FEAR. FEAR of the UNKNOWN! This evoked many questions. What is wrong with me? Am I going to die? Can I work?
Then the answer came with an MRI scan. "YOU HAVE MS, JANA", the doctor proclaimed. WHAT THE HECK IS MS?

MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS - is an autoimmune disease where the nerves of the brain and spinal cord are damaged by one's own immune system, resulting in loss of muscle control, vision, balance, sensation or thinking ability.


I felt a sense of CALMNESS just in putting a name to all of these problems I was experiencing. I still had many questions, though.

What Causes MS?
No one is sure what causes multiple sclerosis. Some scientists believe that it is a combination of genetics and something in the environment to which the person was exposed to early in life.

What Are the Symptoms?
They can vary from person to person and can change over time in the same person. Early symptoms include:
Muscle weakness
Decreased coordination
Blurred or hazy vision
Eye pain
Double vision
As the disease progresses, symptoms may include muscle stiffness (spasticity), pain, difficulty controlling physical functions, difficulty thinking clearly or even total loss of mobility.

Is There a Cure?
There is no known cure for MS, however there are a variety of medications available that can reduce the frequency and severity of MS symptoms in some people with MS. Some drugs can slow the progression of certain types of MS.

With all the uncertainty of this disabling disease, how did I become MIGHTY in MASTERING this FEAR that now had a name? One day at a time! As I look around me, I see so many others worse off than me and I realize I want my life to reflect more than just FEAR. I want to be counted as one that has overcome adversity. For the first time in my life, I know that I maybe small, but I AM MIGHTY and with the support of family and friends, I will not go down without a FIGHT!

Quote of the Week

"COURAGE is not the lack of FEAR but the ability to face it."

- Lt. John B. Putnam Jr.

The Alphabet of Fears

In the never ending battle of fighting FEAR, one might think there is simply not enough to write about. However, we face FEAR everyday of our lives. Some choose to ignore it, while others seem to revel in it. It can be in the small things of the day, or a major task of the week. (ie. Blog writing) It is how we overcome these FEARS that matters most. Just as my friendly, neighborhood superheros have overcome these things, so must we. Lets first look at a few types of FEARS or PHOBIAS that one must conquer, and then we can decide if there is not enough to discuss on this topic.

Have a look at these PHOBIAS and see if you can identify with any of them. Don't forget to read my comments on each one. You may have a comment or two of your own.

A ALEKTOROPHOBIA - a FEAR of chickens. Yes Chickens. Who knew?
B BOGYPHOBIA - a FEAR of bogies or bogeyman. I haven't met him yet.
C COULROPHOBIA - a FEAR of clowns. Haven't we all been afraid of clowns at one point in our life?
D DIDASKALEINOPHOBIA - FEAR of going to school. Need I say more?
E EPISTEMOPHOBIA - FEAR of knowledge. I have never been afraid of this! Good or Bad.
F FRIGOPHOBIA - the FEAR of cold or cold things. Lots of cold this week. I hope this is not one of your FEARS.
G GAMOPHOBIA - a FEAR of marriage. A fear my X husband suffered from.
H HELIOPHOBIA - FEAR of the sun. Not me! Although, I do prefer to fake 'n' bake.
I IDEOPHOBIA - FEAR of ideas. I don't have enough of them.
J JAPANOPHOBIA - FEAR of Japan. I love Japanese food.
K KAKORRHAPHIOPHOBIA - the FEAR of failure or defeat. I'm sure we've all had this fear.
L LIGYROPHOBIA - the FEAR of loud noises. Especially when you have a migraine.
M MECHANOPHOBIA - a FEAR of machines. Especially computers!!
N NOVERCAPHOBIA - FEAR of your step-mother. Cinderella can relate.
O OPHTHALMOPHOBIA - FEAR of being stared at. Stop looking at me.
P PHILOPHOBIA - FEAR of falling in love or being in love. I'll chat more about this one in my future blogs.
Q BLANK - Could not find one for Q. Let me know if YOU do.
R RHYTIPHOBIA - FEAR of getting wrinkles. Oh, too late for this one!
S SAMHAINOPHOBIA - FEAR of Halloween. Really? I love Halloween.
T TAUROPHOBIA - FEAR of bulls. Yes, I gotta say...I think I would run from them.
U UROPHOBIA - Can you guess what this one is?
V VERMINOPHOBIA - the FEAR of germs. That's why I carry a bottle of hand sanitizer with me at all times.

almost there.....

W WICCAPHOBIA - the FEAR of witches or witchcraft. Witches have a bad rep!
X XYROPHOBIA - FEAR of razors. Only when they cut me.
Y NADA - Anyone, help?
Z ZOOPHOBIA - the FEAR of animals. I guess you couldn't become a veterinarian if you had this phobia.

Well, there you have the A - Z's of FEARS. Some of these phobias may seem a bit odd to us, but to the person with one of these FEARS, they can only face them with understanding and courage.